Father's Day Part 2: A Tribute to My Many "Fathers"

And now.. the the fun part of Father's Day.. all of the people I can choose to celebrate.  I told an ex-boyfriend, "You probably think you have it easy because you don't have to go through my dad.  What you don't know yet is that rather than gaining one man's approval, you have an army's approval to gain."  See, I have an amazing community and have had so many great "fathers".  I am so blessed.  Many men have stepped in to fill my father's shoes.  This post is to honor them.  

When I went to college one uncle (who happens to be a truck driver) drove my car down so that I could ride with my mom and we'd have two cars.  His brother (they're both my mom's brothers) picked him up in Waco and drove him to Dallas to fly home.  The second brother's home was a haven during college, my home away from home.  Both brothers would give me the shirts off their back.  My dad's brother is like talking to my dad.  In many ways they are day and night (I mean, literally, my dad had dark hair and my uncle has light hair), but there is a life blood that beats through both of them.  

There's my youth minister (and his wife.. but, sorry Kari, you're not a guy ;-)).  I couldn't tell you how much he taught me about myself and the Lord.  He helped lay foundations that have been pivotal for me.  The man laid down his life for us time and again.  He was there through some hard times.  He also taught me how to punch a guy (only when necessary) in such a way that it wouldn't hurt me.  I clearly remember two of my best friends and I sitting in a church van with him while he was taking us home, and him telling us to NEVER.EVER.SETTLE.. we were too valuable for that.  He instilled value.  

If it wouldn't potentially weird them out, I'd list all of the male friends I have walked with over the last 10 years.  In their own way, each has been a protector and each has taught me something about men and about myself.  They have set high standards of integrity and honor.  They've loved me well.  There's no day set aside to honor male friends, so I choose to honor them today.  :-)

Finally, I want to honor one last "father" currently in my life.  He is my zone/section leader (don't worry about the terminology).  The guy is married, has 3 kids, is an elder and pastor at our church, and recently finished law school.  He has a capacity like no one I've ever seen.  He's perhaps the busiest guy I've ever met.  But I never felt it.  He's amazing at being very present and attuned to the person in front of you.  The man is for people like no other. He is SO interested in what is going on in people's lives and hearts.  He's that guy you want at every party because he (and his wife.. but, again, Ashley's not a dude) is so crazy fun and is an amazing gatherer of people.  You also want to sit down and have coffee with him because he's super encouraging, carries others' dreams well, and is passionate about everything he does.  He covers people so well.  He is a father to many.. even though he's only a few years older than I.  

I could never say thank you enough to all of you.  Thanks for loving me well.  Thanks for reminding me that I am by no means fatherless.  Thanks for stepping in for a man many of you never knew.  You all are treasures and have many rewards in Heaven.  

Covering... and I don't mean the stuff over or on your head (Part 1)

I knew I wanted to write a blog about what I've been learning about the idea of "covering".  So, I did what any child of the Information Age would do... I looked it up online.  Here are some favorites:

"something laid over or wrapped around a thing, especially for concealment, protection, or warmth"
" to serve as a substitute for someone who is absent"
"to hide the wrongful or embarrassing action of another by providing an alibi or acting in the other's place"
"anything that veils, screens, or shuts from sight"
"to cover completely; enfold. to keep secret; conceal"

I tried to look it up in a Bible dictionary to an epic fail.  Oh well.  :-)

Let me back up and explain a bit of my story.  I grew up Southern Baptist.  At the same time, I grew up with parents who told me I could do anything I set my mind to and that I could do almost anything a man could do.  I'm so thankful for parents who raised me to be independent.  Somehow, this all got confused in my head.  How was I, an independent woman who didn't need a man, supposed to submit some day to a husband?  Did that mean I gave up everything and became a June Cleaver at mercy to the wills and whims of my husband?  I knew that was most assuredly NOT me.  As with a lot of things I don't understand, I decided to shelf it until later... whenever I really NEEDED to figure it out. 

Enter my only adult boyfriend.  In dating him, I realized I had probably better start to get a grasp on this whole submission thing.  By this point I had figured out that I did not have to be a doormat.  Okay, if I'm not a doormat what am I?  Add to that my boyfriend's love/hate relationship with the fact I didn't need a man.  I can't tell you the number of times I heard that I was "too independent".  After we broke up, I started asking the Lord if I really was too independent.  I felt like He said, "Leah, it's not that you're too independent.  You just couldn't trust [insert boyfriend's name here] with your heart".  Enter sigh of relief.  Okay, so submission has something to do with trust. 

Fast forward four (wow, it's really been that long?!) years to last weekend.  Again submission is coming up.  A couple of weeks ago, I was at an event and I saw this man from my church.  We didn't know each others' names.  The only thing I knew was that within my two interactions with this man, I felt incredibly loved and covered.  Hm.  Covered.  The next day I saw another man at my church and realized the same thing- he most assuredly did not know my name.  Yet every time I see him, I feel incredibly loved, valued, and covered by him.  When I told both men, they acted as if it was the best compliment I could ever give them.  I was walking back to my seat when I felt like the Lord said, "Leah, you were made to be covered".  What?  Then it seemed to click.  I, as a woman, have it written into my DNA to be covered (in the safe and proper way) by a man/men.  Yes, the world has taken this and distorted it, as it has done with most godly principles.  Being covered meant that someone else was at least partially responsible for protecting me.  As women, we like to feel safe.  It seems men, at least the godly ones, like making us feel safe.  Duh.  Making us feel safe is as much in their DNA as it is in our DNA to be covered. 

I've finally realized that I can value covering without being a doormat.  It all comes back to trust.  Stay tuned for the next installment in covering... and eventually some musings on trust.