You are Interesting!

So.. as you've probably realized, it can be a bit feast or famine with my blog.  Since I warned everyone in my first post ever that it might be that way, I really don't feel bad.  :-)

Recently, I've had a couple of experiences that make me want to shout (lovingly) in someone's face, "YOU ARE INTERESTING ENOUGH!!!"  I've had multiple friends say they want to start a blog, but they don't seem to think they are interesting enough to have their own blog.  Generally speaking, I find it's people like me.. who are single and childless.  I know those thoughts because I've had them.  I wanted (and felt called to) start a blog a long time before I ever began one.  I didn't think my life was interesting enough for a blog.  Most of my friends blogged about their husband, their kids, their crafts, or these super deep profound thoughts they could back up with 30 Scriptures.  Others had a blog because they live in a foreign country.  Let's review:  I'm single, have no kids, don't craft a whole lot, feel pretty good if I throw in A Bible verse, and live in Oklahoma.

Then I realized there are THOUSANDS of women (and men) out there JUST.LIKE.ME.  Maybe they needed to know you don't have to have any of those things to have a blog.  Maybe they were interested in hearing what God is teaching me and my so very random adventures (do we remember dog-sitting THREE chocolate labs, friends?).  Maybe someone else was dealing with grief and needed to know they weren't alone.

So here it is friends.  You are enough (we'll talk about that in a different post)!  Your life, however plain it may feel, is interesting to warrant a blog.  Why?  First, because you were created by an infinite God with a unique purpose, perspective, and calling.  No one else can do what you do.  You can speak to hearts in a way no one else can.  Second, life does not begin when you get married, have kids, craft every pin on Pinterest, or move overseas.  Third, there are t.h.o.u.s.a.n.d.s of people like you!  There are people in your stage of life who enjoy reading about someone else facing the same things.  Fourth, you have unique and original thoughts.

So.. go out and start that blog.  Who cares if you only have 3 readers?!

And if you need someone to read or follow your blog.. let me know.. I'll be happy to.  :-)

Love One Another.. Yup.. Even the Presidential Candidates

I had to do it.. I finally HAD to write a political post.

Let me be clear, this post will NOT be endorsing a candidate and I don't mean to even endorse a political party.

There is something that has bothered me about elections for a very long time.  In fact, I get really, really furious about it.  Lack of candidates I want to vote for?  No.  Political commercials and ads all over the place?  No.  Lies upon lies?  No.  Facebook feed filling up with political stuff?  Closer, but no.  Mudslinging?  Closer, but no.

What really gets my blood boiling is when my fellow Christian brothers and sisters start spewing hate.

What happened to John 13:35, "And by this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another,"?  What happened to 1 Timothy 2:1-3: "I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— ² for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. ³ This is good, and pleases God our Savior,"?  

Filling up your social media with hateful things about the current President is not love and is not praying or giving thanks for him.  I'm sorry if you voted for someone else 4 years ago.  I'm sorry you don't agree with him (I don't always agree with him, either).  But, please, can we at least show him human decency even if we can't show Christ's love?  When you call him the anti-Christ, it does not show love nor does it make me think poorly of him.  You know what is accomplished when a Christian's social media is filled with hate?  It gives credence to the lies and half-truths non-Christians already believe:  Christians are judgmental and hypocritical.  How can you tell someone to love their neighbor when you show someone else a complete lack of respect?  How can you tell your children to be kind and "live peaceably with all men" when you are stirring up dissension?  

A co-worker once said, "I will pray for him because I am supposed to.  But I will not listen to a single address he makes or watch a single thing he is involved with".  Whoa, I don't think that's at all what God intended.  

So, regardless of who you think is the better candidate or your feelings about who becomes our next President, I simply ask one thing:  reflect Christ in your response.  

Sandpaper People

When I was in college, I went to Antioch Community Church in Waco, Tx.  At the time, Robert Herber was the college pastor.  I remember very clearly Robert talking about sandpaper people.  In case you aren't familiar with sandpaper people, they are those who are rough around the edges (at least in your eyes) and refine you.  How do they refine you?  Most often by being different and annoying you. 

Here's the deal:  we ALL have sandpaper people in our lives.  Somewhere, someone in your life refines you because they cause you to be more patient or somehow become more like Jesus.

Today, I was thinking about a current sandpaper person in my life.  I was thinking about how the person drives me insane; I mean really crazy.  Sometimes I think about how different life would be without this person.  My imagination tells me I'd be calmer and happier.

But let's be honest.

This person would be replaced by another sandpaper person.  So... unless I want to live on a deserted island (which, honestly, sometimes sounds AMAZING), I'm stuck with at least one sandpaper person in my life. 

Then.. It hit me.

What if I am someone's sandpaper person?

Wait, what?  I, Leah Gatlin, could be that person that another person feels their life could be better without?  I am that person who is refining someone because I drive them bananas?  Whoa.  More than COULD is a PROBABLY.  There is PROBABLY someone out there who I annoy.  Thankfully, said person is super gracious and kind.. because I don't know who he or she is. 

So, in case the person for whom I am sandpaper is reading this, thank you for choosing grace, love, and patience with me.  Thank you for not losing your mind and telling me exactly what you think of me and how much easier life would be without me.

Now I'm going to go try to have a little more grace, love, and patience for my sandpaper person.  I'm going to ask God to show me how HE sees this person.  There is something unique this person has to teach me; there is something of Him that I can only get through this person.

That changes everything.  Sandpaper person, I love you and am thankful for you. 

10 Years Later: 10 Lessons from Losing a Loved One

In keeping with the recent theme of, "Until today I've never ________", I'm breaking a habit of 10 years.  For 9 years I didn't tell anyone when the anniversary of my dad's death was.  I would tell them maybe in passing when I told them the story, but rarely do I tell more than 3 people the significance of August 11.  So, "Until today, I've never made a public announcement it's the anniversary of my dad's death".  Here's a picture of my family the night I graduated high school (the last picture I think we have of my dad):

Why this year? Because this year is 10 years and it feels like a big deal.  This year I thought perhaps other people might want to hear what I've learned.  So, here are 10 lessons I've learned from losing a loved one, in no particular order.

1. It's never enough time.  People always say things like "It was just too soon," or, "I wish I had more time".  I've learned that it never feels like "enough" time.  Things always feel left undone.  You can choose to be bitter about that or be thankful for all the time you did have.

2. Shortcomings matter much less.  As an 18 year old girl, I could tell you all of the ways I felt like my dad wasn't perfect.  I had quite the list of things he could have done better and a list of places where I was right and he was wrong.  My dad wasn't perfect, no one is.  :-)  For the record, that man loved me like CRAZY and was a GREAT dad.  What I realized is that after he died, those shortcomings rarely matter.  I'm much more prone to remembering my dad's good traits than his bad.  All of my list of reasons my dad wasn't perfect seem really insignificant now.

3. Sometimes I mourn more for what I will never have than for what I have lost.  I have lots of great memories about my father and lots of things I really miss.  At the same time, I get even more sad and angry at the memories that won't happen.  Harvey Gatlin (my dad's name, in case you didn't know) will not be walking me down the aisle of my wedding.  Any future kids I have won't know him.  Two whole sets of friends have never met him.  The exciting thing is how I get to reframe those memories- such as listening to people tell my kids stories about my dad.

4. Grief is rude.  Let's be honest, rude was NOT the word I wanted to use here.  :-)  Grief comes at the weirdest times and makes happy moments sad.  It hits you in the middle of the grocery store when you almost burst into tears because Buy for Less doesn't have kalamata olives.  Eventually, it becomes more manageable, though.

5.  It gets easier... and it doesn't.  This might be the biggest paradox.  Grief doesn't feel like it's about to suffocate me anymore; it is not my constant companion.  However, it's still hard sometimes remembering what I have lost or will never have.

6. Well-meaning people say or do things that do not feel kind.  For more on this issue, see my blog Here.  I cannot tell you the number of ridiculous things people have said to me in an attempt to make me feel better.  Please hear my heart:  I'm so thankful people care.  I understand they're trying to help.  Sometimes help is just saying you're sorry for the person, that you're thinking of/praying for them, and letting them just be who they need to be.

7. There's a club, I'm not alone.  When you lose someone you love, it's easy to feel like you're all alone and that no one understands.  I remember wishing I knew someone who lost their parent at a young age.  I wanted them to tell me how to get through this and that I WAS going to get through this.  Since August 11, 2002, I have been able to talk to at least 4 friends who had someone close to them die (3 dads and a sister).  I'm so thankful for them that they don't have to feel as if no one understands.

8. Everything (almost) is normal and everyone is different.  I've known people who seemingly fell apart when someone they loved died.  I've known others who you would never have known anything had happened.  Feeling paranoid another loved one would die?  Normal.  Wanting to escape reality?  Normal.  Guilt?  Normal.  I also find that the outside world (who is not experiencing your grief) often times wants a 10 step guide on how to love and support those grieving.  Sorry.  We're all different.  I said before that I don't usually post what today is on my FB.  Other people need for their world to know the milestones.  Neither is bad- they're just different.  Take your cue from the person.

9. I'm not sure closure exists or what it looks like if it does exist.  People talk about "closure" a lot.  If I just knew this or we had just finished that, I would have closure.  If closure means I can rationalize what happened, then I don't so much believe it exists.  If closure means I can make peace and move on, then it totally exists. It's different for different people and different people get there in different ways and at different times.

10. There is good in every thing.  I'm an optimist.  It's really part of my nature.  I constantly look for the good in everything.  Right after we found out my dad died, I thought, "Well, at least we don't have to keep coming to the hospital every day."  In the midst of sadness, I watched friends and the community pour out love on my family.  During that time I saw the best in a lot of people.  At the same time, God proved Himself incredibly faithful.  I prayed that I would have at least one friend at college (for which I left just a week after my dad died).  God gave me an army.  Through grief (not just in my dad dying, but in a lot of things), I've seen the kindness and goodness of God.  Yes, even through all of this, I know that I know that I KNOW that God is infinitely more kind and gracious than my little human mind could ever comprehend.

Well... there you have it.  10 lessons.  10 years.  I'm so thankful for all I've learned.  I'm so thankful for the community that has come around me and loved me.  I'm thankful for relationships that have been restored because of my story.  I'm thankful for the moments (such as talking with a friend whose dad just died) that give meaning to my situation.  Above all, I choose to be thankful for the 18 years, 4 months, and 15 days with my dad instead of being bitter about the years without him.

Adventures in Dog-Sitting: Part 2 (The Girls)

 Meet "the Girls"

Above is Abigail.  Abby for short.  She also goes by Abbers and pretty much anything else similar.  She is the lightest colored and biggest of the group.  She is the oldest and the leader of the pack.  It is impossible for her to be too close to a human being.  It is also impossible to play fetch with her for "too long".  

This is Wrigley Anne.  Generally goes by Wrigley.  Sometimes Wriggles or Wriggers.  The seeming quiet one of the group, she will lick your face off if you let her.  She also is the only one with curly hair.  She has a blonde V on the back of her neck.  

Sophia Rae Petrillo.. and those are all names before her two last names (which have been omitted for privacy sake).  She goes mainly by Sophie.  Sometimes Sophers.  I might also use Sophs (like Sofes).  She is the darkest of the group.  I also know which one she is by process of elimination- if she doesn't have Wrigley's V, she must be Sophie. :-)  She's  the youngest of the group.  She's also my bedmate for the trip AND a bit (okay a lot of) a bed hog.  She looks tiny in this picture.  She's not.  

This was Sophie deciding she was a lap dog.  Abby, however, objected.. mainly because SHE wanted to be the lap dog.  

Adventures in Dog-Sitting: Part I

At some point, I'll take a picture.  Three full-grown chocolate labs.  One sitter.. well.. plus the person who comes like a fairy during lunch and lets them out.  I digress.

If you know me, you probably find it hilarious that I am dog-sitting.  If you don't know me, you should see the previous post.  :-)  I promised my sister and Courtney some entertaining posts.  Ladies, you'd better comment.

Tuesday:  Everything seemed to be going pretty well.  Played with the girls (what I, and their parents, call the labs), went to the grocery store, came home and cooked dinner.  Had a friend over.  Warned her the girls would be rather excited to see her.  I'm pretty impressed with how well they did.

As a funny aside not related to the girls, I decided to take a bath in the huge soaker, jetted tub.  I used bubbles.  I turned on the jets.  I had MOUNDS of bubbles.  Lesson.learned.

Then, it was time to go to bed.  I knew Sophie would sleep with me.  Luckily it was a king-size bed.  Extra bonus: I picked the correct side.  When I went to bed Sophie claimed the right 65% of the bed.  I got in on my side.  I moved.  Sophie moved.  Apparently I moved too much because Sophie went to the foot of the bed.  Then she came back.  And nested.  How dare the human want to be fully covered.  Silly human.  Finally we went to sleep.  Like a new parent, I'm pretty sure I woke up every.single.time Sophie moved.  Girl moves a lot.  :-)  At 5:30 the girls decided they needed a potty break.  Fair enough.  At 7:20, they decided it was time for me to get up.  Not as cool, girls, not as cool.  I had a nice leisurely breakfast, did the dishes, fed the girls.. have to admit, it was kinda nice.

Wednesday:  Apparently the girls are used to me.  They no longer jump on me when I come in.  They do, however, greet me and follow me wherever I go.  Adventures today included filling up their kiddie pool with water.  A little later came the biggest adventure:  poop scooping.  Lots of poop.  Lots of scooping.  I should sell tickets.  Then, I was sitting on my computer and there was a reflection on the wall that Sophie insisted on barking at.  It was hilarious.

Now, I'm sitting here blogging with Abby laying contentedly at my feet.  She's a lover, that one.  Well, really all of the girls are super affectionate.  Abby, however, can never be too close to a human.

Well.. that's enough for today.  Stay tuned to see what other adventures lay ahead for myself and the girls.

Update:  Just like a new parent, I totally messed up what the days are.  Thanks CMac for correcting me!

Adventures in Dog-Sitting: Preamble

In order to truly appreciate this post, you have to understand my history with dogs.

Birth- early high school:  Terrified of dogs.  Ter.rif.ied.  Somewhere in high school, I got over this morbid fear and downgraded to great disdain.

Junior year of high school:  Family I was a nanny for got a dog.  Dog later attacked my best friend.  Dog and I got along fine.

Fall, 2007: Consider getting a dog as I had just moved into an apartment by myself.  In God's infinite kindness, my friend gets a dog.  All desire to have a dog is now gone.

January, 2008:  Dog-sit two dogs via just checking in on them.  One, a spiteful peeer.  The other, a pup.  Within 3 days I had cleaned up a wet mess and had the pup poop on the carpet and drag his rear through it.  Called friends in Florida.  They assured me they would take care of it.  At the same time, friendships were dissolving, my then-boyfriend was in the hospital, and I later found out I had a stomach virus.

Spring, 2008:  Go over and check on a dog.  It had gotten out of the gate in that apartment.  For weeks you could still smell the evidence.  The dog also howled for hours when I was gone.  Vow to never again dog-sit.

June, 2012: Go over one night and feed/play with 3 dogs.  Couldn't get the alarm to set. Had to call the alarm company.  Forgot to lock the house (in Moore) until I got back to Norman.

July, 2012:  Co-worker says, "Sure seems like you dog-sit a lot."  Me:  "Um.. really.. no."  Talks about me staying at her house to watch her 2 dogs and a cat.  At the end of the month, it falls through.

August, 2012:  Former professor asks me to dog/house sit.  Luckily, I like his dogs.  Plus, it sounded like it could be fun.  Enter:  adventure of 2012.