Father's Day Part 2: A Tribute to My Many "Fathers"

And now.. the the fun part of Father's Day.. all of the people I can choose to celebrate.  I told an ex-boyfriend, "You probably think you have it easy because you don't have to go through my dad.  What you don't know yet is that rather than gaining one man's approval, you have an army's approval to gain."  See, I have an amazing community and have had so many great "fathers".  I am so blessed.  Many men have stepped in to fill my father's shoes.  This post is to honor them.  

When I went to college one uncle (who happens to be a truck driver) drove my car down so that I could ride with my mom and we'd have two cars.  His brother (they're both my mom's brothers) picked him up in Waco and drove him to Dallas to fly home.  The second brother's home was a haven during college, my home away from home.  Both brothers would give me the shirts off their back.  My dad's brother is like talking to my dad.  In many ways they are day and night (I mean, literally, my dad had dark hair and my uncle has light hair), but there is a life blood that beats through both of them.  

There's my youth minister (and his wife.. but, sorry Kari, you're not a guy ;-)).  I couldn't tell you how much he taught me about myself and the Lord.  He helped lay foundations that have been pivotal for me.  The man laid down his life for us time and again.  He was there through some hard times.  He also taught me how to punch a guy (only when necessary) in such a way that it wouldn't hurt me.  I clearly remember two of my best friends and I sitting in a church van with him while he was taking us home, and him telling us to NEVER.EVER.SETTLE.. we were too valuable for that.  He instilled value.  

If it wouldn't potentially weird them out, I'd list all of the male friends I have walked with over the last 10 years.  In their own way, each has been a protector and each has taught me something about men and about myself.  They have set high standards of integrity and honor.  They've loved me well.  There's no day set aside to honor male friends, so I choose to honor them today.  :-)

Finally, I want to honor one last "father" currently in my life.  He is my zone/section leader (don't worry about the terminology).  The guy is married, has 3 kids, is an elder and pastor at our church, and recently finished law school.  He has a capacity like no one I've ever seen.  He's perhaps the busiest guy I've ever met.  But I never felt it.  He's amazing at being very present and attuned to the person in front of you.  The man is for people like no other. He is SO interested in what is going on in people's lives and hearts.  He's that guy you want at every party because he (and his wife.. but, again, Ashley's not a dude) is so crazy fun and is an amazing gatherer of people.  You also want to sit down and have coffee with him because he's super encouraging, carries others' dreams well, and is passionate about everything he does.  He covers people so well.  He is a father to many.. even though he's only a few years older than I.  

I could never say thank you enough to all of you.  Thanks for loving me well.  Thanks for reminding me that I am by no means fatherless.  Thanks for stepping in for a man many of you never knew.  You all are treasures and have many rewards in Heaven.  

Father's Day Part 1: I'm not Fatherless

If you know me, you understand why Father's Day is not one of my favorite holidays.  If you don't know, this was the 9th Father's Day I've observed since my Dad died.  Something within me wanted to write about
Father's Day.  Perhaps I wanted to feel included.  Perhaps I want a group of people (those who have fathers who are still living) to understand what they never can (what it's like to celebrate Father's day when your father is in Heaven).  When I started writing this post in my head, it was a how to on how to love the fatherless (more on this later) on Father's Day.  Then I realized that goes against everything I believe about grief because it implies there is a manual or a one-size fits all way to help.  So.. that post isn't here.. because I don't like to contradict myself. :-)  

I'd be lying if I said that Father's Day is never hard or that I'm never angry.  If you would have asked me 9 years, 10 months, and 8 days (I used an online calculator) ago if I would till be angry, I would have said no.  But I am.  Not every day, by any means.  Not even every Father's Day.  But sometimes I'm angry.  I'm angry because my dad is dead.  I'm angry because it happened when I was so young.  I'm angry for the memories that will never be made.  I'm angry that I'm angry.  (Hey, I'm a girl.. it makes sense).  Oh, and I'm angry that life feels normal without him.  I get angry that I can go a day without thinking about him.  It feels wrong sometimes.  (For the record, the angry days are few... I'm just saying they exist).

For the record, I do not consider myself fatherless.  Weird, I know.  But come on, you probably know me.  Did you expect anything else?  My dad was a great man.  He worked hard to provide a good home for my mom, sister, and I.  Although he had no concept of time (meaning my mom had to remind him several times), he made it to almost every single Little League game I played... no matter how good (or terrible) I was.  Without a doubt, I know he loved me.  So I get a little worked up when people think I'm fatherless.  I also have a heavenly Father who loves me better than my earthly father could in a million years.  Especially since my dad died, I have seen God as my father.  He is the One who comforts me.  He gives me guidance.