A different blog post will talk about all the changes I've experienced recently and what God is teaching me through that. The only part of that story you currently need to know is that the last several months have involved change: lots of change. It's all really good change, but sometimes change is hard.
Years ago, I remember a friend often talking about how she just needed "perspective". Yeah, okay, what on earth does that MEAN? She mentioned needing GOD'S perspective on her life instead of her own. I've thought about that some over the last few years, but I haven't exactly dwelled on it. Then, at the beginning of this summer, a friend/mentor encouraged me to start looking at why I had some reactions I did (example: why does it annoy me when this person does this). I realized that if I took long enough to do that, the problem was some sort of issue in me- not in the other person. Something in me was reacting to something in them.
I was talking with another friend/mentor and she started talking about choice. This just days on the heels of another friend talking about focusing our eyes on God and some other things. My friend/mentor was talking about how in every situation we have a choice on how we respond and move forward.
Something clicked all of the sudden in August. I was preparing to transition out of a Lifegroup (small group at my church) that I loved and where really good things had happened. To be honest, for a couple of weeks I felt sorry for myself and was angry that I had to leave. All the while, I knew that ultimately I trusted God and that He had a plan and a purpose, even if I didn't understand it or like it at the time. Suddenly, it clicked what that friend had said years ago: I needed God's perspective. I needed Him to reframe situations around me. Instead of grumbling and complaining about the fact I had to leave one group for a bit, I started getting excited about the opportunity of getting to fellowship with another group of people and learn from them. I find that when I start panicking or feeling down, that asking God to reframe the situation through the lens of hope and security often immediately helps me go back to that place of rest, hope, and peace. I have to FIGHT to remind myself that I see only dimly and a small piece of the story. In the midst of the big picture, that pain is microscopic. But fighting is neither easy nor haphazard. It requires me to get out of my head and CHOOSE to believe truth and good things. It requires me to quit feeling sorry for myself and remember that it's for HIM and HIS glory, anyway.
But the fight is worth it. It's worth it because He gave everything for me. It's worth it because all of us want to be a part of something greater and bigger than ourselves. It's worth it because He's never let me down. Not. one. single. time. He's always showed up- maybe not when or how I wanted Him to- but He has ALWAYS showed up. He's ALWAYS brought peace, comfort, rest, and hope. So when it feels like I'm about to be swallowed up by the whale of my problems, I remember that HE will always show up- even inside the belly of a whale- and I always end better than when I started.
Years ago, I remember a friend often talking about how she just needed "perspective". Yeah, okay, what on earth does that MEAN? She mentioned needing GOD'S perspective on her life instead of her own. I've thought about that some over the last few years, but I haven't exactly dwelled on it. Then, at the beginning of this summer, a friend/mentor encouraged me to start looking at why I had some reactions I did (example: why does it annoy me when this person does this). I realized that if I took long enough to do that, the problem was some sort of issue in me- not in the other person. Something in me was reacting to something in them.
I was talking with another friend/mentor and she started talking about choice. This just days on the heels of another friend talking about focusing our eyes on God and some other things. My friend/mentor was talking about how in every situation we have a choice on how we respond and move forward.
Something clicked all of the sudden in August. I was preparing to transition out of a Lifegroup (small group at my church) that I loved and where really good things had happened. To be honest, for a couple of weeks I felt sorry for myself and was angry that I had to leave. All the while, I knew that ultimately I trusted God and that He had a plan and a purpose, even if I didn't understand it or like it at the time. Suddenly, it clicked what that friend had said years ago: I needed God's perspective. I needed Him to reframe situations around me. Instead of grumbling and complaining about the fact I had to leave one group for a bit, I started getting excited about the opportunity of getting to fellowship with another group of people and learn from them. I find that when I start panicking or feeling down, that asking God to reframe the situation through the lens of hope and security often immediately helps me go back to that place of rest, hope, and peace. I have to FIGHT to remind myself that I see only dimly and a small piece of the story. In the midst of the big picture, that pain is microscopic. But fighting is neither easy nor haphazard. It requires me to get out of my head and CHOOSE to believe truth and good things. It requires me to quit feeling sorry for myself and remember that it's for HIM and HIS glory, anyway.
But the fight is worth it. It's worth it because He gave everything for me. It's worth it because all of us want to be a part of something greater and bigger than ourselves. It's worth it because He's never let me down. Not. one. single. time. He's always showed up- maybe not when or how I wanted Him to- but He has ALWAYS showed up. He's ALWAYS brought peace, comfort, rest, and hope. So when it feels like I'm about to be swallowed up by the whale of my problems, I remember that HE will always show up- even inside the belly of a whale- and I always end better than when I started.
Leah! I am so proud of you. This is definitely a lesson that we all need to learn. I know that for myself, I struggle with seeing things as God sees them as well. Sometimes I think "Well, God, why is this happening but not this? Or why must I go through this when I know you can change it all in an instant", and I catch God reminding me that HE KNOWS IT ALL and IS ALL and IS IN ALL.
ReplyDeleteHe knows what happened yesterday and what he has planned 30 years down the road and though we go through these changes, He knows they are for our good and for His glory. We learned at World Mandate that sometimes God needs to take us through some dark stages of development, pruning and maturing us, so that when we are fully developed, He can bring us up into the calling He has placed us and we won't wither under the pressure or be exposed or burdened.
All I can say is that I am proud of you, and proud to call you my friend, and I cannot wait to see what else God has in store for, in, and through you!